To take the test, they put us into two separate rooms, and logged us into computers. The test consisted of about 160 statements, and we had to click "Agree" or "Disagree" or "Undecided." Easy peasy.
Wondering what was on it? I'll share. :)
The test has 16 categories, with about 10 questions each. They're all randomly shuffled. A few examples...
The "Lifestyle Expectations" category had statements like these:
We are in agreement about the husband and wife roles each of us expects of the other in our marriage relationship.
I fully agree with my future spouse's occupation or career plans.
The "Friends and Interests" category:
We have friends that support the beliefs and lifestyle we value.
My future spouse has too few interests and activites apart from me.
The "Personal Issues" category:
I see myself as competent and confident.
I am uncomfortable with the amount my future spouse drinks.
The "Personality Match" category:
My future spouse's sense of humor sometimes causes problems between us.
My future spouse and I agree on how much time each of us needs to spend alone.
Then there are other categories like Communication, Problem Solving, Spirituality, Parenting, Extended Family, Sexuality, Readiness, Marriage Covenant, and Financial. I wish I could share them all with you, because I thought the test was really comprehensive and wonderful!
Things I really liked about the test:
- It wasn't very "churchy" at all. It said "We have discussed and agreed on the method of family planning we will use," rather than "We will be using NFP as our family planning method." It said "We agree on how much money we will allocate to church donations," rather than "We will donate 10% of our income to the Church." Way to go FOCCUS test!
- It didn't stop short of including slightly taboo topics like "I am uncomfortable with some sexual activities my marriage partner may ask of me" and "I am concerned that my spouse's use of marijuana or other drugs could negatively affect our marriage." I happily answered DISAGREE! on both, but was still glad that such things were included.
- One of the sections addressed religion in our marriage with statements like "I consider a personal faith in Jesus Christ an important ingredient to our marriage" and "I am comfortable asking my future spouse to pray with me."
- We had to pay $25 to take it. Boo.
- They told us it had no wrong answers. It obviously did. I mean, who doesn't know that the correct answer to "I am concerned I am marrying too soon" is a big fat "Disagree?"
- Two or three of the questions were a little ambiguous. Example: "I can only be happy if I'm married." I put Disagree (I'm currently not married, and I'm happy!). J put Agree (He'll be unhappy if we keep dating for another 10 years and never get married). For the record, my answer was "right." :o)