Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Here's to Weddings that Aren't "Cool"

I consider myself to be a creative person. I sew. I scrapbook. I decorate my apartment with handmade things.

When presented with an Easter luncheon, I made this salad:

When I found myself without a Homecoming date once in high school, a created a whole "Notcoming" party of my own (complete with bouncers!), and convinced all these people to actually come to it!

When Hurricane Ike hit the Texas coast and cancelled classes my sophomore year of college, I threw together a party complete with Doppler radar on the TV, hurricanes in our cups, a playlist of songs about wind, rain, and floods, and this poster on our front door:

So when it came time to plan my wedding, my head was swirling with clever touches and personalized details and all the things that would make my wedding memorable, unique, and us.

But then as parts of the planning began to get set in stone, I started to realize that my wedding isn't shaping up to be the unique and interesting thing I had originally figured it would be. And the more I read of the wedding blog world, the more I felt like my wedding was somehow inferior. My ceremony isn't in a barn, or on a boat. I won't have a photo booth or a cigar roller. There will be no fancy lighting, my guest tables won't have clever names, and my venue "doesn't do" signature cocktails.

I was beginning to feel like I needed to do something, to change something, to make my wedding into something it wasn't for the sake of being "different" or "memorable." But as I pondered how to change the wedding to make it more us,  it hit me. The wedding already is "us!"

We're traditional. We value things that have been passed down from our families. We see our wedding as a tribute to the dozens of couples who have come before us and set an example for us of what love should be. Our wedding speaks to that, and it speaks to us. This isn't about a hurricane, or apartment decorating, or a scrapbook page. It's about something bigger, something profound...it's about our marriage.

So here's to the brides with weddings that aren't cool.

Here's to heritage and tradition. Here's to the brides whose family customs aren't unusual, but are still hugely important. Here's to ceremonies in churches and receptions in ballrooms.

Here's to every woman who will be given away by her father, and take her husband's last name. Here's to bridesmaids that match and dresses that are long. Here's to sit-down dinners with chicken. Here's to bouquet throwing and garter tossing.

Here's to speaking the vows of your parents and grandparents. Here's to tuxedos. Here's to seeing your groom's face as he sees you for the first time dressed in white, wearing a veil, walking down the aisle.

Here's to honeymoons at cliche all-inclusive beach resorts. Here's to china on your registry. Here's to RSVPs that come through the mail, and arrive in an envelope.

Here's to you, bride of the not-cool wedding. Here's to you, here's to me, and here's to tradition and doing things the way they're usually done.

May you see yourself reflected in your wedding, and may you love every minute of it. And may you never, ever be tricked into thinking that because your wedding is about you, it isn't worth as much as someone's else's. Because it is. It's worth every little traditional bit.


  1. Aww thanks! It was one of those from-the-heart ones. :)

  2. I also love this intensely. And really, anymore choosing tradition DOES make you unique!